I Blame Disney
When we were young our favorite Disney movies taught us that the good guy wins, the bad guy loses, 
and the prince and princesses live happily ever after. Then we grew and had kids and the many Disney shows taught them, in addition to those things, that the kids get the laugh for making sarcastic comments and running crazy schemes without parental supervision. So, you see, I blame Disney. Now I know this is a bold statement and probably putting more blame on the 52-billion-dollar mass media entertainment giant than it deserves, but come on, I know you see some logic behind my thinking. When you add the message of the story ending with the good guy winning every time and you can do what you want, to a generation taught that no kid is ever left behind and everyone gets a trophy, how is failure in life dealt with later? It is important to explain to our kids that life isn’t a fairy tale, sometimes it is hard, sometimes you don’t get the laugh, things outside of your control happen, but in the end, it is all worth it and you can find your happily ever after.
Ever After
Which girl among us didn’t spend hours in our youth watching the man fight for his damsel in distress and just dream about a guy who would fight off our dragons, or the boys who learned that they must fight off the evil queen (aka fix everything) for their lady to find true love? Then we grew up and life taught us something different. Don’t get me wrong, there can be plenty of moments in life of the fairy tale and we soak in our happily ever after, but life is far from a Disney script. Expecting a relationship to take on “happily ever after” is a daunting task. Relationships are hard, there is a reason the stories end here, as no one really cares to watch the work that goes into even getting to the “ever after” part. Dragons are a continued battle through the years and you end up having to slay them for each other, while dodging the evil queen and a host of minions all at the same time. The girls must learn that the boy can’t always save them, and most of the time they should save themselves. The boy must learn they can’t always fix everything, and this doesn’t make them a failure. I see this struggle in my oldest as she looks for her prince. She wants to find the guy who can kiss her on the lips and wake her from her long sleep, who can slay the dragon, and take her to his castle. I hope one day she finds the man who makes her feel like she is in a fairy tale, but I hope she can then adjust her expectations to the reality of life outside of Disney for the relationship to make it to happily ever after.
Oh, The Sassy Kids!
Then we had kids. Our kids have it great. While we had to wait for the next big movie to come out, our kids have hundreds of Disney shows at their fingertips. I hate to admit it, but over the years I am sure I have absorbed hundreds of hours of these shows with my kids. There was a common theme through most of the cartoons and TV shows and that was kids doing what they want without parental supervision. When parents did enter the picture the sarcastic remarks from the kids got the laugh. Now, I am not completely blaming Disney for my sassy kids, because let’s face it, they do have their parent’s genes, but I can say it didn’t help. I realize their demographic didn’t warrant parental involvement, but I often wondered if Disney writers were living out their own childhood fantasies. More than once, when my youngest was small, I caught her repeating stunts or experiments she had watched…she was always and inquisitive child. She also has never let an opportunity for a sarcastic remark or a chance to make a room laugh pass her by – no matter how in appropriate. (And again, I realize this is not all Disney’s fault but can I get a little help here!) A little more parental involvement and a little less snarky-ness would be appreciated by legions of parents out here who’s kids are paying attention and learning from these shows. (Yes, I realize an easy solution is to not allow them to watch, but that is a topic for a whole other blog).
Getting On To the Ever After
Against, what we learned from the talking animals and magical fairies through the years, doing my best 
has not always made me the winner and sometimes the bad guy did walk away with the treasure. In an age where we give trophies to everyone who participates, we don’t keep score until they can handle the pressure, and we no longer encourage true consequences for actions, I think it is important we let our kids know that these types of let downs in life do happen and they are OK. After a few conversations with some 17-22-year old’s recently I realized just how stuck in this Disney culture they are and how bad these small glitches in life impact them. They want their fairy tale and magic wand. They want their fairy godmother to appear and grant them the wishes without putting in the hard work. They want the castle and diamond slippers without scrubbing the floors first. It is going to be a hard awakening for many of them as they are stepping out of the comfort of their parent’s castles covered in their Disney cloak. Adulthood will hit them right between the eyes and shake that fairy dust off revealing a world of hard work, expectations, and sometimes disappointments. Let’s all hope they can handle it.
I wish I would have done a better job with preparing my kids to understand the world awaiting them. We did try and luckily, I know we did things a little differently than others, but it still doesn’t seem like enough. We demanded/encouraged manners, apologies, charity, and earning what you want, however, unfortunately my daughter still has the nerve to complain that the car we bought her isn’t good enough. So, for all the parents with young kids, if any of this sounds familiar to you, I would just caution, if you care to hear it – remember to allow the disappointments, let them know failure is ok because it is what you do next that matters, and encourage the hard work because that is what life will expect out of them. Disney is just entertainment and not a guide book.
Oh, one other thing Disney…on behalf of Step-Mothers all over the world – we are NOT all evil. We have one of the hardest jobs in the world, being a mother to someone else’s child. A child we love as if we gave birth to them, but had to accept the fact that they will never have the same bond with us as they do with their bio-mom. It is sometimes a heartbreaking job. So, for the next story line involving a step mom, give a sister a break and let her be the hero that many are in real life!
Even though I do blame Disney (only a little in jest), life wouldn’t have been the same without our beloved stories. If you are like me, the movies have probably seen you through the best and worst of times. Mary Poppins is still my go to feel-good movie when I have had a bad day, though I am always disappointed when I start to clean and a snap of my fingers does nothing, and who couldn’t use a chalk picture vacation or a tea party on the ceiling every now and then!
For the laughter, tears, and shouts of triumph through the years we do appreciate you Disney. I do realize all the blame is not yours, and we all will just have to learn to make our own Happily Ever After.