It Starts At Home!

It starts at home. The way our children think, learn, speak, and present themselves. It starts at home. A simple statement, yet I think sometimes it’s easy to forget what sponges our children are, and even before they completely comprehend it, they see the actions, hear the tones, and understand more words than we ever know. Among the beautiful moments of teaching them their first words, how to walk, and how to ride a bike, we can also unintentionally or intentionally, pass on our own insecurities, fears, hate, and ignorance. I believe this is more important to note today than ever and the future of our country as we know it, may be dependent on what we choose to start at home.

Prejudice isn’t born, it’s created. Sure, the differences are always noticed, but they can’t perceive them as good or bad unless we teach them to. They learn what to fear by what we tell them or what has hurt them. Someone’s color, religion, or family choice doesn’t hurt them. A child’s preferences will come from what they know, so why not teach them no matter the color of their skin they can buy the doll they want, not the doll that matches them? Beneath our skin, what church we do or do not attend, or our sexual preference, don’t most of us really want the same basic things in life – love, health, happiness, and those things for our family? Why not teach our children tolerance of differences we don’t agree with and have no control over, verses hatred that will lead nowhere good?

What a child learns at home is what they will most likely emulate when out in the world and what they take into adult hood. It’s ok to notice the differences, but why not teach them to celebrate them instead of fear or hate them? This is one things I have always struggled to understand from those who teach their children not to embrace other’s differences. As a mother, I want my children to have the most love filled, adventurous, rewarding life possible. If they have an entire group of people in this world that I taught them to hate, fear, avoid, or miss out on loving, how did I do my job as a mother? What experiences, adventures, jobs, places, or even love could they miss out on? That is just not acceptable! Our country and the very fabric of who we are as a society was built on these differences.

Fighters and Suvivors

There are very few places in this world as rich and diverse in culture as United States of America. They’re even fewer places that enjoy the vast resources, technology, and conveniences we take for granted every day. Our poorest are wealthier than most middle-class. Our worst performing free schools far out rank many in this world, and while our medical system does have room for improvement, it is a vast greatness above and beyond many across the world. In this country, we do have a chance at a better life, better healthcare, better education, and a freedom not experienced in too many other places. We forget this too often and we let our differences be our challenge instead of our strength that it once was and we forget it starts at home.

I have a theory as to why I believe we are finding it harder and harder as a society to find peace among ourselves, and to teach our children to embrace our differences rather than hate them. We are a country built on the backbones of rebels, fighters, slaves, those rejected from their homelands, and yes those who had to fight for theirs. We are a country of territorial survivors. We find it hard today to find peace, to find a way to move forward, to embrace our history, learn from our weaknesses, and improve our strengths because we are always ready for the fight. You see this is our ancestry. This is in our blood. When our ancestors had to choose fight or flight, they chose the fight. They had to – this is how we became the United States of America.

So here we are with each generation, the fight gene getting stronger and stronger. Becoming increasingly more aware of our differences in a time when they shouldn’t matter. As the world gets smaller our differences seemingly pushing us further apart, rather than bringing us together. But this is where starting at home becomes crucial. The next generation can find a little more peace if we allow the fight gene to dial back a bit and remember that the differences are what created our melting pot of a country. It starts at home.

The Differences That Matter

It is centuries of our differences that made us who we are, those differences that led a group of poor undermanned, underfunded rebels to a victory of freedom. To pen the words “All men are created equal…”, during a time when no such thing existed or was even fathomed. The strength and determination of our ancestors who led to civil unrest to overturn a century of oppression. The outside of the box thinking and difference that made us the innovation powerhouse of the industrial revolution, drove us to put a man on the moon first, and to bring the world a wealth of inventions that will forever improve lives. Even with our debates we still show the world what true religious freedom looks like, and while democracy and capitalism isn’t perfect, it outweighs the alternatives. Our differences produce some of the best-known artists, books, music, and talent known worldwide. Celebrating these differences starts at home.

Another great difference in our culture not often found in the media, unless it accompanies bad news, is Americans are the first to lend a hand, to jump in and help at the worlds disasters, tragedies, and injustices. Not just at a military or government level, but our everyday citizens. They jump in cars, planes, boats, and trains and rush to help. So many Americans have built schools, roads, infrastructure, and provided medical treatment in some of the most devastated places of this world. Many gave their last dollar to give vaccines in Haiti, overpay for shoes so an extra pair of goes to a child in Africa, stand in line for an hour to give their own blood so it can be shipped to the earthquake zone in India. They have invented and funded water filters so kids in 3^rd world countries can drink water without dying of diseases. And it’s not just aboard – daily we jump in where needed in each city and flock to the disaster area to help no matter race, religion, or preference. This is a difference worth talking about at home.

Start At Home

While I know all too well there are negative sides to our way of life and freedoms, I also understand the value of acknowledging the good in the differences. This is also who we are, and if we remember it starts at home, we give our children a chance to celebrate the differences and recognize the fight doesn’t have to be among us anymore, we may begin to find a little more peace and tolerance in our country. It starts at home and maybe it’s not just our children who will hear what we have to say or watch our actions. Maybe we can change a grandparent or parent’s way of thinking, or maybe a friend’s – I have seen it done.

Our differences are not our weakness, and its ok to disagree and not understand, but we don’t have to hate. Prejudice isn’t born, it is taught. It starts at home. We can begin to embrace the amalgamation of differences that built our country and affords us an opportunity that a majority of the world would die to have, or we can continue to go down a path that is leading to destruction. We can let the next generation know our differences should be celebrated and everything doesn’t have to be a fight anymore. The gene that served our ancestors so well does not have to be turned toward our own, and we can continue as a society of great problem solvers, protectors, and innovators. Let go of the fear and hate and embrace the beautiful differences. It starts at home.

#itstartsathome