I am a planner. I knew very early in my life what I wanted to be, and where I wanted to go with my life. This has served me well for most of my life, but being a planner with a type A personality comes with some drawbacks. For example, it took me a while to learn to adjust when the plan didn’t go exactly as I planned it. Too many times in my young teen and adult years I spent banging my head against the same wall or fighting the same battles to try and get my plan back on track when I should have been creating a new plan.
Jump On The Train
Life has a funny way of making you learn how to create those new plans even when you do not want to. Even when you planned perfectly, best laid plans don’t always come to reality. Sometimes you just have to jump on the train and hang on because life keeps moving down the track whether you planned the route or not. This was a very hard concept for a planner like me to learn. But learn, I did.
I am still a planner, but I have learned to be more strategic and to be more flexible. I have back up plans and mitigation strategies ready, but even then sometimes I just have to go with the flow of the change. Though I still fight it from time to time. Nothing has taught me this more than my children. Watching them manage their young adult lives outside of the plans I had for them is a very difficult thing to do.
But That’s Not The Plan
Every phase of parenting brings on different challenges and teaches us something. Every phase has its own unique rewards and beautiful lessons, but I must admit no one ever prepared me for being a parent of young adults. It is definitely a unique situation in this day and age. While not quite as challenging as those fun teenage years, it has definitely brought out a dynamic I am not sure I was prepared for.
I wonder if all parents feel this way at some point. I am sure my parents did as they watched me make some of the major changes I did from my original plans. Watching my young adults make decisions, change directions, and completely ignore the “plans” I had for them has been a very hard process. Especially, considering when the reality hits that they are really adults and I no longer control their plans.
Letting Go of The Plan
No matter my thoughts in the matter this is another aspect of lives plan I have to learn how to jump on board and roll down the track. This is a hard one for me, as I am sure it is for all parents. I guess all I can do is to stand back and continue to help guide and answer questions so that they can begin to fill in their own plans. I have to trust their direction will lead to the plans that were meant to be for them. I have to quiet my inner type A planner, because after all this is now time for their best laid plan.
How do you deal with this Managing It All readers with young adult children?